WRITTEN BY SAMMI CARAMELA (SST MEMBER, WRITER & EDITOR)
Hi, SST fam! We opened an advice column for members to anonymously submit their questions or conflicts. We hope you enjoy this new initiative!
Now, let’s get into this month’s submission…
SST Member: How do you go about your sexual needs when your partner is away for months at a time?
Sammi of SST: Sammi of SST: This question is incredibly nuanced, as we all have different sexual needs and preferences when it comes to intimacy. But like with most issues in relationships, communication is key.
Being away from your partner for months at a time is already difficult for a variety of reasons, from loneliness and emotional disconnect to insecurity and life stress. However, we rarely discuss the sexual unfulfillment that comes with long-distance. Sure, it can be fun to send spicy texts and plan for reconnection when your person is finally home, but nothing can truly solve the lack of physical touch.
Not to mention, in a “regular” long-distance relationship, you typically have more privacy to FaceTime or call each other on the phone. But with touring, your partner is likely surrounded by people 24/7, which only complicates the already frustrating dynamic.
I think the trick here would be to ask yourself (and your partner) what, exactly, both of your sexual needs are. Then, discuss some creative ways you can meet each other’s needs while acknowledging that there might be some limitations. Make it a fun challenge between the two of you, and view it as a way to spice things up and deepen your connection. Do you prefer visuals, voice notes, long, descriptive texts…I’ll let you answer this yourself.
And, of course, while you might want your person there to meet your sexual needs, you technically don’t need anyone but yourself. Don’t be afraid to explore self-pleasure with a focus on better understanding yourself and your preferences. And hey, a smutty romance novel never hurt anyone.
P.S.: Long-distance toys exist for a reason. (That’s all I’ll say on that one.)
